Sitting in my empty apartment, eating a tube of cookie dough, obviously left to my own accord, I began to think. Think in the way that I really don't enjoy, the deep intense life questioning sort of thinking. Left to my own devices, I tend to think about all the things I generally try to hide away in the darker recesses of my mind. I begin the thoughts of my childhood and of people I have and do know. I wonder what drives people to act the way they do, why are can a person be so indifferent to others. I was, needless to say, having a bad day.
Let me give you a little background on my life. My grandparents were Buddhist, I was raised in a very odd manner when it came to them. My Papa firmly believed ten minutes of meditation would ease any bad behaviour, and often it did. Telling a 5 year old to sit still and breathe deeply for longer than 30 seconds is just torture. As I got older, I became a stickler for ethics. I don't mind so much what people believe, or what they do, just so long as they do their best to cause the least amount of distubances possible and took responsibility for what they did. I'm a fairly tolerant person; don't hurt anybody willingly, think about what your doing and take responsibiity.
So sitting alone in my living room, I start to question the people I've been involved with. Really just wonder at how it seems that they forget that there is often more than just them involved, others are recieving consequence for anothers action. It all brought me back to a seminar I attended while I was at AGS, this man recalled his encounter with a monk and what the monk said has inspired me since. It's a bit of philosophy that just sort of helps me through the bad days, and lets me move foreward without always looking back. It might sound stupid to you, or maybe sound truthful, but it's what I tell myself when things get rough and it seems like everybody sucks. Straight from the monk's mouth, "I know that I am you and you are me too, but you don't know that."
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